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“I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Achievement quotes, Immortality quotes.
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“When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, God quotes.
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“I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)
Similar Quotes. About: Cute quotes, Funny quotes, World quotes.
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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips quotes
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“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
Warren Hutcherson quotes
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“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes.
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