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“
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
”
Dave Barry quotes
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American
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best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
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“
Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.
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Dave Barry quotes
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American
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best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages
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Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
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Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
It is a well-known fact that although the public is fine when taken individually, when it forms itself into large groups, it tends to act as though it has one partially consumed Pez tablet for a brain.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
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best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
”
Dave Barry quotes
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American
Writer
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Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
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best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
”
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(
American
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Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
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Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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