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“Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)

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“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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