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“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)

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“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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