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“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)

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“To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, God quotes.
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“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Government quotes.
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“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Achievement quotes, Immortality quotes.
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“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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“The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Life quotes.
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