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“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
About: Belief quotes.
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“All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
Similar Quotes. About: Life quotes, Funny quotes, Dreams quotes.
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“Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
Similar Quotes. About: God quotes.
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“Teflon brain - nothing sticks”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
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“Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
Similar Quotes. About: Politics quotes, Advertising quotes, Politicians quotes, Adulthood quotes.
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“Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
Similar Quotes. About: Realism quotes, Reality quotes.
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“Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last”

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“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
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“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it”
Lily Tomlin quotes (American Actress and Comedian. Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2003.b.1939)
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