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“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Alcohol quotes, Women quotes.
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“The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Drugs quotes.
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“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

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“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.
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“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery quotes
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